Chapter 1: Understanding the Power of Storylines

Our personal narratives can sometimes feel entrancing, yet they may not reflect reality. Many methods exist for letting go of negative stories that weigh us down. While meditation can be beneficial, it can be difficult to practice when overwhelmed by negative thoughts. I find that the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) serves as a comforting gateway into meditation during such times.

Distractions like singing, dancing, napping, or watching a captivating film can provide temporary relief, but often, the underlying story re-emerges once the distraction fades. To truly move past a sorrowful narrative, we must first soothe the emotions driving it.

In my experience, emotions serve as the catalysts for our stories. By recognizing and addressing the emotions tied to these narratives, we can begin to dissolve them. This concept may sound straightforward, but it becomes challenging when negative feelings dominate our mindset. These emotions can create a hypnotic grip, presenting a narrative that feels overwhelmingly real.

Although a story might seem valid, it’s essential to remember that it is not the sole truth. If you’re experiencing distress, irrespective of the narrative's accuracy, it’s unlikely to be beneficial. Regardless of how convincing the storyline may be, it will dissipate the moment we focus on soothing the emotions that ensnare us. This requires effort to redirect our attention back to those emotions, allowing the stories to recede.

There have been countless moments when I have leaned against my kitchen cabinets, tears falling as I acknowledge the reality of my feelings.

Ultimately, the storyline acts as a distraction.

Soothing the emotions is the key.

That’s the essence of the process.

I consciously release the narrative and ask myself, "Which emotion requires comfort right now?"

Then, I begin the work.

Chapter 2: Utilizing Emotional Laddering for Relief

My preferred method for this emotional work is known as ‘Laddering,’ a technique developed by Abraham. It effectively helps us recognize the vital role our emotions play in guiding us back to a state of equilibrium when we slip into a negative mindset.

Recently, I expanded my approach by integrating concepts from Byron Katie’s ‘Loving What Is’ and Jonathan Shaw’s ‘Do The Opposite’ method. This inquiry process provides even greater relief at each rung of the emotional ladder.

To soothe emotions, it’s beneficial to question the narratives we hold. Byron Katie articulates this beautifully: "As long as you think that the cause of your problem is ‘out there’ — as long as you believe that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering — the situation is hopeless."

By progressively addressing negative emotions in a way that feels comfortable, we can effectively release the grip of negative narratives. For instance, I recently navigated my feelings surrounding sadness and anxiety.

Initially, I felt fear when I thought my negative emotions might overwhelm me. I make it a point to add the phrase ‘… when I think that…’ to clarify that it’s the thought itself causing distress.

Then, before advancing up the emotional ladder, I apply a mix of Katie’s and Shaw’s questioning techniques to alleviate the fear:

1. Is that true?
   • Well, they do feel quite overwhelming…
2. Is it really true?
   • No, not in absolute terms. Negative emotions stem from flawed thinking, and this narrative doesn’t encapsulate my true self.
3. What thoughts could serve as the opposite or a better alternative?
   • My negative emotions could actually uplift me.
4. In what ways could these opposing thoughts hold some truth?
   • I often experience greater joy once I comfort those emotions. They lead me back to my true self.
5. How do you feel when you consider those alternative thoughts?
   • I feel relief, relaxation, and lightness.

Now, I move to the next rung on my emotional ladder: anxiety. For me, anxiety is a step down from fear.

Chapter 3: Embracing the Journey of Healing

Using this method, we can approach each negative emotion as a call to return to our true selves. Each emotion acts as a protective layer, guiding us towards deeper understanding. By peeling back these layers, we reveal our authentic selves, growing with each revelation.

When we address our painful emotions with these questions, we often find relief without needing to continue up the ladder. Transitioning from a troubling narrative to a state of relief becomes a joyful experience.

Would you like to try this approach? Here are the questions for easy reference:

1. Is that true?
2. Is it really true?
3. What thoughts could serve as the opposite or better?
4. In what ways could these opposing thoughts hold some truth?
5. How do you feel when you consider those alternative thoughts?

If you're seeking assistance to begin this journey, please feel free to reach out. This process is a rewarding endeavor.

Acknowledgment: My writings, coaching, and personal experiences are deeply influenced by the remarkable teachings of Abraham-Hicks.