Chapter 1: The Journey Begins

Life has a way of surprising us, often in ways we never expect. Perhaps the future holds something vastly different and far more beautiful than we can envision.

After returning from my inaugural trip to Japan in 2019, I felt like a mere shadow of my former self on Christmas Eve. That experience awakened my senses and my heart. Traveling illuminated my true aspirations: I yearn to be a full-time creator, exploring the depths of meaning both in the world around me and within my own being. I long for a heartfelt adventure.

This newfound vision has been my guiding light, reminiscent of a North Star, ever since that transformative trip to Japan, where everything shifted in an instant. As my friends and I sailed over Tokyo Bay, raindrops blurred the train windows, and the world shimmered in silver; my mind ignited with thoughts of endless possibilities.

For the first time, I realized, "I want to live here." I felt a yearning to immerse myself in the world permanently and share my experiences with others. Upon returning home, I struggled to articulate my feelings to my family; I felt torn apart by the profound nature of what I had experienced. I had tasted the adventure I had always desired, yet I couldn't grasp how to turn that into my reality.

Where should I begin? The answer eluded me. Nevertheless, I continued to question, write, and search for signs along my journey. Nearly four years later, my goal remains unchanged: to delve deeper into the unknown.

Now, I'm back in Los Angeles for a brief two weeks before returning to Japan, where I will teach English until year-end. Having lived in Japan for over a year, I sense a new chapter unfolding. My plan is to transition from Osaka to Tokyo, seeking opportunities as a writer or at least a role that brings me closer to my dream of being a full-time storyteller and creator.

On my last day at the school where I taught, a pair of parents approached me, asking if I could take a photo with their two daughters. I was happy to oblige, thinking the pictures were simply for their keepsakes. Instead, the father took a Polaroid and tucked the printed images inside letters written by the girls. The mother’s eyes glistened with tears as they bid farewell for the final time. I was overwhelmed; the moment felt incredibly special.

This seemingly simple gesture meant more to me than they could imagine. It was once my aspiration to be in Japan and have experiences like this. This was the adventure I had yearned for during the isolation of the pandemic, and now, it's hard to believe this chapter is drawing to a close.

"I hope you find happiness in Tokyo," my school director said the week before my departure. I took a moment to reflect before responding, "I’m happy now." And I truly meant it.

While I may not yet hold my dream job as a full-time creator or a magazine writer, I would be dishonest if I claimed that self-doubt doesn't creep in. Like everyone, I face ups and downs, questioning whether I'm doing enough or making the right choices. I sometimes worry that I am not talented, strong, or courageous enough. I fear I’ll always be stuck in roles that don’t ignite my passion while I chase my dreams on the side.

But here I am, making an effort. My dedication to this journey brings joy to my life. It’s not about reaching a finish line or attaining an endpoint that will finally bring happiness. If we cannot find joy in the pursuit, we will never be satisfied once we arrive.

It’s the striving toward a vision that bestows purpose upon our lives, taking gradual steps toward a dream where some days we will veer off course, and other days we may feel stagnant. That’s perfectly okay. Growth isn't always a smooth ascent; it can be messy and nonlinear, contrary to our expectations of a perfect upward trajectory.

What makes this journey worthwhile, despite its challenges, are the unexpected moments—like witnessing that mother’s tears of gratitude for something I provided her daughters that I didn’t even realize was significant. Perhaps it was joy, as those little sisters brought me smiles every day. Maybe it was a cherished memory, like celebrating their success when they passed their Eiken test. Who knows, I might have even imparted some English knowledge to them.

Little did they know, they gave me a gift in return—a reason to persist, a story worth sharing. It’s these moments that fill my heart with love, which is all I truly need to keep moving forward.

Life is imperfect and will always remain so. Yet, amid it all, I find happiness in navigating this sea of uncertainty, guided by my heart as a compass.

I may not know how everything will unfold, and that uncertainty can be daunting. But if we knew the outcome, what would be the point of trying, of failing, of embracing the unknown?

It’s possible that none of our plans will materialize as we envision. However, perhaps what lies ahead for both you and me will be vastly different—and far better—than we could ever imagine.

We can never fully predict how life will unfold, and isn’t that a beautiful mystery? All we can do is keep moving forward, and that prospect is incredibly exhilarating.

Much, much love.

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Chapter 2: Embracing Inspiration

In "Jordan Davis - Next Thing You Know," the artist captures the essence of unexpected life changes and the beauty that can arise from them. This song resonates deeply with the unpredictability of our journeys.

"Anne Wilson - Sunday Sermons" offers a powerful message of faith and resilience, reminding us that even in uncertain times, hope and inspiration can guide us forward.