Unlocking Personal Growth: Embrace the Power of Flexing
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Chapter 1: Understanding the Concept of Flexing
The term "flexing" doesn't refer to physical strength, but rather to the small adjustments we can make in our daily lives to foster personal and professional growth. Inspired by Susan Ashford's book, "The Power of Flexing: How to Use Small Daily Experiments to Create Big Life-Changing Growth," I found valuable insights to improve my soft skills as I navigate my journey into adulthood at 35.
Recently, I joined a company committed to employee development, which has opened up numerous opportunities for growth. During a skill enhancement program, I encountered the philosophy of John Maxwell, who encourages us to be "rivers, not reservoirs," advocating for the sharing of valuable knowledge. This principle aligns closely with the idea of flexing.
Ashford's approach transforms what seems like common sense into actionable strategies that enhance our effectiveness across various aspects of life. By leveraging our existing talents, strengths, and resources—everything within us—we can build a pathway to our personal and professional objectives.
What exactly does it mean to flex? According to Ashford, flexing encompasses four essential characteristics: it should be proactive, adaptable, manageable, and, most importantly, enjoyable! This process involves setting goals, planning experiments, gathering feedback, reflecting systematically, managing our mindset, and regulating our emotions. Essentially, Ashford provides a structured way to promote our growth, especially when we feel stagnant or unfulfilled.
"Growth is painful; that is why so few choose to do it." — Jerry Colonna
In her book, Ashford guides us through the foundational elements of flexing, illustrating them with real-world examples from prominent professionals, empowering us to embark on our own journeys of personal development.
Learn Through Experience
Ashford emphasizes that experience is the most effective teacher, but only if we actively seek lessons from it. Research suggests that 70% of our learning comes from experience. Approaching every situation with a "learning mindset" can propel us forward, even if it means facing challenges.
High-challenge, high-learning scenarios—like taking on new roles or navigating diversity—offer the best opportunities for growth. While these situations can be intimidating, entering them with the intent to learn can transform our perspective.
"This is a learning experience. You're going to grow tremendously, even when it seems impossible." — Doug Evans
Reframing Challenges
One critical lesson from Ashford is that many of us spend too much time merely "doing" rather than reflecting on our actions. Our culture often glorifies constant activity, but without reflection, we risk repeating the same mistakes.
During a tough time at work, I struggled and felt like a failure. It was only after reading a quote from one of Ashford's interviewees that I realized I could view my challenges as adventures. This shift in perspective—reframing—helped me recognize what I was missing in my approach. While I still have much to learn, adopting this mindset has reduced my anxiety and empowered me to embrace growth.
Setting Goals for Flexing
With the understanding that experience and mindset are our starting points, the next step is goal setting.
Ashford introduces the "Goldilocks" principle for goal-setting: avoid goals that are either too vague or overly specific; instead, aim for flexibility. Don't overwhelm yourself with too many goals; focus on making your journey rewarding rather than fixating on endpoints.
Accountability plays a significant role in achieving your goals. Share your objectives with friends or colleagues to enhance your commitment.
Let the Experimentation Begin
Creating experiments for personal growth can feel daunting, especially if you're not naturally creative. However, Ashford encourages us to adopt a flexible approach, allowing for small, realistic changes that can be adjusted as needed.
Success is defined not by rigid outcomes but by our feelings about our experiments and the changes they bring. Each experience presents an opportunity for learning and experimentation.
Feedback: Embrace It
Negative feedback can be challenging to hear, but it is crucial for growth. By integrating what we learn from feedback, we can continually improve our methods and approaches.
Seek out feedback proactively by scheduling discussions with trusted colleagues or friends. Setting clear intentions for these conversations can foster more meaningful exchanges.
Reflect on Your Journey
Once you've gathered feedback, it's vital to reflect on your experiences. Many might feel pressed for time, but reflection is key to continuous learning.
Make reflection a regular practice—whether through journaling or quiet contemplation. Regular feedback loops with trusted individuals can help normalize the process and cultivate psychological safety.
Managing Your Emotions
Learning to manage emotions is essential. While passion is valuable, it's important not to let emotions dictate our actions. Cultivating a learning mindset enables us to examine our feelings and their roots.
Before significant events, strive to manage negative emotions by avoiding triggering situations. Finding the positive aspects in challenging scenarios can help shift your perspective, facilitating a more adaptive mindset.
In conclusion, embracing the practice of flexing opens up a world of possibilities. It fosters psychological well-being and enhances our ability to navigate life's challenges, ultimately leading to greater satisfaction. I highly recommend Susan J. Ashford's "The Power of Flexing" for further insights into honing your soft skills.
As I embark on my own flexing journey, my goals are to enhance my influence at work and improve my communication skills. Sharing my experiences with you will support my growth. Are you ready to join me in this journey of flexing?
Chapter 2: Experimenting with Your Flex Goals
In this video, "How To Make Your Own Training Plan," you will discover effective strategies to craft a personalized training regimen that aligns with your goals.
The second video, "Personal Effectiveness: 5 Tips for Project Managers," shares valuable insights on improving your effectiveness in managing projects and teams.