The Unexpected Kindness That Shaped My Views on Race
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Chapter 1: Growing Up in a Wealthy Yet Divided Society
This story begins when I was just twelve years old in Singapore, a place where affluence exists alongside subtle racial tensions.
In Singapore, overt racism is discouraged by strict laws, including hefty fines and prison sentences for inciting racial hatred. However, that doesn’t erase the underlying prejudices that linger beneath the surface. My childhood was marked by cautionary tales from my parents, who would warn me that "the Indian man will come and take me away" if I misbehaved.
It's important to note that my parents are fundamentally good people; they were merely echoing what they had heard from their own parents. Such warnings were common among Chinese families in Singapore.
I grew up hearing disparaging remarks about various ethnic groups: the Malays were labeled as lazy, and the Indians as alcoholics who mistreated their spouses. Even within the Chinese community, stereotypes flourished, with jokes about our supposed nerdiness and other unflattering comparisons.
I must clarify: I have always been content with who I am, including my physical attributes. However, being raised in this environment fostered a sense of distrust towards those from different backgrounds. My feelings were not overtly racist; instead, they were more childish and insidious. I felt a disconnect, believing I could be friends with people of other races but never truly connect with them romantically. When asked why, I couldn't articulate an answer.
This naive mindset continued until a stormy night changed everything.
Section 1.1: A Life-Changing Experience
One evening, I found myself locked out of my apartment after forgetting my keys. My family had recently moved to a less secure area due to my parents' separation, and now I was outside in the pouring rain, vulnerable and alone.
As I stood shivering at the entrance, a neighbor opened her door and invited me in. To my surprise, she was Indian—a tall, graceful woman dressed in a traditional sari, with soft sitar music playing in the background. Without saying much, she handed me a warm cup of Milo, and I felt a wave of gratitude wash over me.
We spent hours chatting, and she noticed my embarrassment about being locked out. Her laughter was light and melodic, brightening the somber atmosphere. When she offered me traditional buttered cookies, I hesitated but ultimately accepted, finding them delicious.
As we talked, I noticed faint bruises on her arms and face, remnants of a painful reality I would later come to understand. Her husband was an abusive man, and though I didn’t ask about her injuries, the silence spoke volumes.
My father eventually arrived to take me home. I thanked my neighbor, who smiled at me, though her expression carried an air of sadness. That seemingly small act of kindness left a lasting impression on me, even after I moved away and never saw her again.
Chapter 2: The Impact of Kindness
Years later, I still think about that rainy night and my neighbor's warmth. Her act of kindness transformed my perspective and made me open-minded.
At 27, I find myself embracing diversity in all aspects of my life. My experiences on "The Apprentice," where I collaborated with individuals from various backgrounds, are testament to this growth. I've dated across cultures and trained in martial arts with coaches from around the world.
Reflecting on that rainy day, I realize how a simple act of kindness helped shape my identity.
Section 2.1: The Lesson Learned
The takeaway from this experience is clear: be kind whenever you can. Even the smallest acts can create ripples of change.
Though I was unable to help my neighbor in her time of need, I believe her intention was purely to assist a lonely child caught in the rain. Now, as an adult, I strive to emulate her selflessness.
I may not be wealthy, but I am committed to helping others whenever possible. I aim to share stories that inspire kindness and compassion, believing that if even one person finds solace in my words, it would be worth it.
Remember, kindness is powerful—especially when it comes from a place of genuine goodwill. The random act of kindness I received at twelve may have saved me from becoming a racist, and your kindness could spark a similar transformation in someone else.
Dave Chappelle’s stand-up monologue on race and kindness, offering humorous insights into societal issues.
Jordan Peterson discusses the motivations behind actions and the importance of kindness in challenging times.