Chapter 1: Rethinking Parenting Styles

For quite a while, I believed my approach to parenting was a balanced blend of authoritarian and authoritative methods. My children were well-behaved and thrived socially, intellectually, and academically. Like most parents, I focused on instilling values through both example and clear expectations. Naturally, positive behavior was often met with rewards, as children often seek validation.

Their commendable behavior was also influenced by the disciplined atmosphere at home, enriched by the presence of grandparents. It's a common aspiration for parents to nurture their kids into well-rounded individuals. However, as children mature, their perspectives shift, necessitating a more adaptable parenting style to guide them through various developmental phases.

I was abruptly reminded of this when my eldest daughter, Sara, transitioned into her teenage years. I began to see that my parenting had leaned more towards authoritarianism. Up until that point, none of my four children had pushed back against my authority, as they were generally in a compliant stage of their lives.

Of course, they still asked for toys, extra screen time, breaks from school, or more hangout time with friends. They voiced these desires, but it never felt like a direct challenge to my values or the autonomy I allowed them as their mother. As I share this, you might be curious about the role of their father in our family dynamic.

He often plays the part of a friend and ally to the kids rather than a strict disciplinarian. They frequently turn to him for empathy and support, using his leniency to navigate their whims. This dynamic complicated my role, as I needed to find a balance between being overly strict and too permissive. Hence, I infused a bit of authoritarianism into my parenting to create the necessary structure and boundaries that every household requires.

Chapter 2: Navigating the Teenage Transition

As my daughter transitioned out of her tween years, I noticed significant changes. I understood that children at this age begin to shift from seeking closeness with their parents to desiring more independence. They face numerous challenges, including physical changes, hormonal shifts, and societal pressures to conform to new standards. It's no surprise that anxiety can emerge during this tumultuous time, and addressing it can be quite challenging.

What I didn't anticipate was how much I would undergo a transformation myself during this period. How I navigated these changes and what strategies proved effective will be shared in my next installment. However, I can affirm that our relationship has evolved into one where we genuinely value each other's perspectives.

As we continue on this journey of mutual growth, I look forward to the chapters that lie ahead, confident that our relationship will keep evolving, adapting, and flourishing. After all, motherhood is about growing alongside your children, embracing every step of the journey, including the bumps along the way.

Stay tuned for Part 2...