Chapter 1: The Concept of Alternate Realities

Frequently, I find myself contemplating the idea of alternate realities while simultaneously appreciating the life I have chosen. Some suggest that our paths are predetermined by a soul contract established before our birth. I tend to believe that our lives are a blend of personal choice and divine orchestration. At times, certain events and chance encounters feel as though they were meant to happen before we took our first breath. The circumstances we find ourselves in often result from this interplay.

I reject the notion that individuals who suffer abuse, grow up in conflict zones, or live in poverty could have chosen such fates. I have a friend who embraces the belief in soul contracts, despite having endured a challenging childhood marked by abuse. He has transformed his experiences into resilience, ultimately becoming a teacher, musician, and healer.

In contrast, I was fortunate to grow up in a loving family that nurtured my dreams, instilling the belief that I could achieve anything I desired. There was no addiction or poverty in my upbringing; my parents held steady jobs, and my needs were met. Their nearly 52-year marriage concluded with my father's passing in 2008, followed by my mother's in 2010. They embodied the five Love Languages and served as a model couple for many.

Unfortunately, my own marriage, lasting nearly 12 years before my husband's death, had complexities I wouldn’t have consciously chosen. I often wonder how my life might differ if our relationship had mirrored my parents’ more closely. Throughout my life, I’ve engaged in several brief relationships that each imparted valuable lessons. I firmly believe that love is never wasted; some experiences deepened my self-respect, while others clarified my boundaries and desires.

Currently, I cherish my independent yet fulfilling life, filled with meaningful friendships and experiences. My grandchildren, whom I watch on weekdays, bring immense joy. Had I not married my husband and adopted our son, these little wonders wouldn’t be part of my life. My son and daughter-in-law recently celebrated their sixth anniversary, and their two children—ages 3.5 and 15 months—continuously inspire and delight me.

Even in moments of sadness, my grandchildren lift my spirits. They are the primary motivation behind my advocacy for peace and social justice. In an alternate reality, they might not exist in my life, which is unfathomable. Yet, one could argue that my experiences in another realm might be equally fulfilling, leaving me unaware of what I would be missing.

As I navigate this life, my academic background lies in mental health. I earned a BA in Psychology and an MSW (Master of Social Work), taking a clinical route and working as a psychotherapist across various settings. My passion for reading and writing led me to become a wordsmith rather unexpectedly. In 1988, my husband and I launched Visions Magazine, which thrived for a decade. I had the privilege of interviewing influential figures, including Ram Dass, Shirley MacLaine, and Pete Seeger.

I often wonder how my life would have unfolded had I pursued a degree in Journalism and worked for a newspaper. Would I have maintained my spiritual path and encountered my husband, given that we first met at a Ram Dass event? Perhaps I would have even contributed to The Good Men Project, shaped by the experiences and individuals I met during my college years.

Reflecting on my past, I think about the interfaith communities I attended, which brought remarkable people into my life. Had I not become a writer with a spiritual focus, would I have participated in a writing workshop with Joan Borysenko at the Sivananda Yoga Ashram in the Bahamas, where I also met the esteemed yoga teacher, Tao Porchon-Lynch?

Additionally, I ponder the effects of my recovery from co-dependence. Would I still be a people-pleasing chameleon, constantly adapting to others' needs? If I hadn’t experienced a heart attack in 2014, would I still be overworking myself, neglecting self-care? Eventually, I would have faced a crash.

At this moment, I find joy in typing while listening to Tracy Chapman’s "Fast Car" on my favorite radio show. I plan to visit the gym later, which feels more like play than a chore.

A single different choice could shift any of us into entirely different lives, surrounded by unique people and pursuing new careers. In an alternate existence, I might be happily married, residing in a beautiful home nestled in the woods, with a serene stream nearby. I could be a bestselling author, financially secure enough to support philanthropic endeavors. Together, we might work out in our home gym, travel, and teach.

In another life, I could be single yet living a fulfilling existence, perhaps even as a concert pianist or clothing designer—careers far removed from my current interests. Regardless of the life I lead—past, present, or future—I hope to always find happiness, health, love, and meaning in every interaction.

What might your alternate life look like?

The first video titled "We Learn It Too Late" discusses the common regrets that prevent individuals from living a life full of purpose and meaning. Gabor Maté explores the emotional and psychological barriers we create and how we can overcome them to embrace a more fulfilling existence.

The second video, "Wrong Decision - What if I choose the wrong path?" dives into the anxieties surrounding decision-making and the fear of making the wrong choices in life. It encourages viewers to embrace their paths, highlighting the importance of learning and growth regardless of the decisions made.

Chapter 2: Embracing the Journey

As we reflect on our choices and paths, it's essential to embrace the journey we are on. Each experience contributes to our growth and shapes who we are today. Let's appreciate the lessons learned and the connections made along the way.