Understanding the Secretive Nature of Social Media Users
Written on
Chapter 1: The Dichotomy of Sharing on Social Media
In my two decades of experience in the realm of social media, I've come to recognize a pattern: while I tend to overshare my personal experiences, not everyone operates the same way. My friends on Medium can attest to this; I often share significant life events—like family losses or joyous occasions—across platforms such as Facebook or Instagram, or even write articles about them.
For instance, when my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and subsequently passed away five years later, I shared this journey on Facebook. I included photos and memories to honor his life and illustrate the impact of Alzheimer’s on families. My inclination is to be transparent and open, viewing announcements of engagements or even deaths as normal social practices. However, the following examples highlight a contrasting approach taken by others.
Section 1.1: The Surprising Engagement Announcement
One couple, a mix of Millennials and Gen X, recently got engaged but opted to convey their news through Facebook Messenger rather than a public post. I found this choice to be odd and lacking in warmth. The bride-to-be, who professes a dislike for Facebook, didn't share any celebratory photos of her engagement ring or moments with her fiancé on her profile.
Days passed following their announcement with no further mention on social media. This is particularly perplexing given that she has over 500 friends and is generally sociable. I shared my confusion with my son, who viewed their decision as entirely acceptable. While I understand differing perspectives, it felt unusual to me, especially since even the groom's elderly mother publicly acknowledged their engagement, while the couple remained silent.
Subsection 1.1.1: The Alt Image
Section 1.2: The Unspoken Grief
In a more somber example, my cousin-in-law tragically lost her mother unexpectedly while on a cruise. Despite the devastating circumstances, she and her husband chose to inform only a select group of people about her passing. When we encountered them during an Easter gathering, they refrained from sharing the news, leaving us in the dark until my mother-in-law revealed the situation later.
It was astonishing to learn they had kept this significant event a secret for over a month. I couldn’t comprehend why my cousin-in-law avoided posting about her loss on social media, which could have provided her with much-needed support during that difficult time. Eventually, she did share her mother’s passing online, and support poured in, but it raised questions about the reasons behind their secrecy.
Chapter 2: The Question of Secrecy on Social Media
Why I DON'T Share My Personal Life On Social Media (TRUE STORY) - This video delves into the reasons behind individuals' choices to keep their personal lives private on platforms that encourage sharing.
Private Life Is a Better Life (how to stop telling people everything) - In this video, the discussion revolves around the benefits of maintaining privacy in one’s personal affairs and the reasons many choose to do so.
The phenomenon of secrecy on social media has left me puzzled. While I can understand the hesitance to share sad news, the reluctance to announce joyous occasions, like engagements, seems particularly perplexing. It almost appears as if the Millennial bride is hesitant to celebrate her fiancé publicly.
Interestingly, despite being a few years older, I am much more active on social media and embrace its potential for connection. It seems to me that the reluctance to share isn't simply due to busyness but stems from a desire for privacy. This inclination raises questions about what else might be concealed from view.
These individuals aren’t celebrities; they’re everyday people, which makes their choice to act as if their lives are shrouded in secrecy even more baffling. They seem to adhere to unspoken rules regarding what to share.
What I Believe About These Unwritten Rules
I hold the view that significant life events—such as happy marriages and relationships—should be celebrated openly. I disagree with the notion of withholding such moments from social media.
Some advice discourages sharing about children online, which I can understand. The belief that not everyone will be happy for you is true in real life as well. Similarly, the idea that compliments are often insincere applies equally to face-to-face interactions.
Concerns about attracting negativity or jealousy through sharing can feel superstitious. Instead, I believe sharing can often help repel negativity.
Ultimately, the issue at hand is the tendency to keep monumental life events secret from family members. Such behavior is not typical, and while social media can be misused, it is not inherently harmful. It can serve as a powerful tool for positive or negative connections, depending on how individuals choose to engage with it.