Chapter 1: The Beginning of My Journey

It struck me recently that I’ve been mulling over these thoughts for quite some time. Over the past four years, I've poured a significant amount of effort—blood, sweat, and tears—into sharing my experiences with the world. Now, with a clearer mind, I wish for my portfolio to reflect my more organized thoughts.

Let’s rewind to the inception of it all: my very first published piece.

I take a moment to compose myself, preparing for my next step. My determined face masks a fierce internal battle. I remind myself to stay positive and give it my all. My second story took me twice as long to publish compared to my first.

I genuinely love my job and feel fortunate for my life, yet there's a nagging feeling of inadequacy since I don’t bring home a paycheck. Kudos to all the parents balancing full-time jobs while keeping everything together—what an achievement!

This narrative is about defying that instinctual feeling and the self-doubt it sparked within me as a mother who believes she largely has things under control. Dear Money, how I miss you.

Some days, I long for that extra cash. I love you, Dad.

I recall checking, locking, washing, counting, and pleading for him to overcome his struggles and get some rest. The man who once rescued me from drowning now seemed to be flailing in a turbulent sea of challenges.

Being your daughter brings us more joy than you realize. By our mid-thirties, we may forget the material gifts, but we will always remember your words of love, the bear hugs, and the countless times we felt secure.

What can I say? I’m a sellout—and yes, I need an income. Perhaps it has something to do with the $12 I made last month after pouring my heart into my writing.

When financial resources are scarce, it’s tough not to think about wanting more. But we have enough for now; that will have to suffice.

My ‘Oh, No’ Moment.

Despite my gratitude for the positives in life, the challenge of managing on a single income kept me awake at night. Money was no longer stretching as it once did, and I felt overwhelmed trying to compensate.

As the 2018-2019 school year approached, I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge every teacher—past, present, and future—and express my heartfelt thanks for your daily contributions. Gratitude is essential.

Currently, I have $2.33 in my wallet and $140 in my checking account to last me the next two weeks. I find myself questioning how I ended up here, feeling both burdened by responsibility and utterly powerless.

I love you, Mom.

We always perceive you as beautiful. We believe you are the most stunning woman we’ve ever seen. We hope that someday someone tells us we remind them of you, as we carry your features with pride.

Thank you for taking the time to read this! You are cherished. ❤

©2022 Divina Grey. All Rights Reserved.

Chapter 2: Insights and Lessons Learned

In this section, I will share valuable insights from my journey.

The first video titled "What I Wish I Knew Before I Self Published My First Book" provides essential tips and reflections for aspiring authors navigating the self-publishing landscape.

The second video, "Ask Suzanne & Sanaya~The First Episode: Recovering from Tragedy, Trusting Guides, Atheists in Spirit," explores themes of resilience and trust, offering hope and guidance for those facing adversity.