Chapter 1: The Year That Changed Everything

It's astonishing how much can transform in just one year. Not long ago, I found myself without a job, oblivious to the opportunities that awaited me. I was navigating through a bankruptcy process, grappling with deep-seated depression. The situation felt hopeless, and I was receiving government assistance while trying to cope with my second divorce in two decades. The absence of my two young boys, whom I used to see daily, added to my struggle.

No matter where I looked, the future appeared grim. I was on the verge of giving up. In 2016, my employer of fourteen years abruptly decided to sell his farm, leaving me in a precarious situation. This marked the beginning of a challenging seven-year period, which many would deem as hitting rock bottom on the day I turned thirty-eight.

Over those years, I cycled through various jobs and employers, encountering some of the most demanding personalities imaginable. I worked on multiple farms and dabbled in car sales, service, and crop consulting. I even took up meal and ride deliveries through DoorDash and Uber. Despite my efforts, it felt like I was perpetually coming up short. Although I considered selling drugs as an option, something deep down urged me to resist that path, even though it seemed tempting.

Despite my reluctance, I continued to push forward. Something within me insisted on perseverance, but as the years passed, that voice grew fainter, until it was almost inaudible by last year's birthday.

If it weren't for Sheri, I might not have rediscovered that voice—the one assuring me that all my struggles had meaning. People often say that everything happens for a reason, but hearing that during difficult times felt grating. It's tough to perceive the lessons hidden within challenges when life feels like a relentless assault.

Listening to that inner voice requires practice, especially when it sounds like a harsh critic. It can be relentless, echoing phrases like "you're weak" or "you'll never succeed." While such training might have its place in sports, it's detrimental to real life. It's essential to cultivate an inner strength that counters that negativity—a voice that offers encouragement rather than defeat.

With Sheri's support, I began to hear my inner voice again. She embodies the belief that everything happens for a reason. No matter the circumstances, her cheerful disposition seems to counterbalance the negativity that often clouds my thoughts.

After losing her mother to cancer at just sixteen, enduring a near-tragic motorcycle accident involving her husband, and witnessing her father's battle with dementia, Sheri has exemplified resilience. She never fights against her circumstances; instead, she embraces them with grace. Observing her navigate through life's challenges has been truly inspiring.

I used to feel envy towards those who seemed to handle adversity effortlessly, but now I realize I simply wanted to learn their ways of coping. Sheri guided me in adjusting my mindset, helping me tune out the negativity and amplify the positive.

I owe much to her and the universe. Without enduring those seven years of hardship, I might never have returned to small-town Minnesota to pursue my passion as an Automotive Service Advisor. It was there that I repaired her car and fell deeply in love.

Whether we like it or not, everything has a purpose if we are willing to accept it. My thirty-eighth year was pivotal; it marked the moment I stopped resisting and began embracing life. Shortly after my birthday, when darkness enveloped me, everything changed. I found a job I loved, farming alongside my best friend, and together, we launched a successful seed company. Sheri and I moved in together, and our happiness flourished.

Everything does happen for a reason; it’s often a matter of being open to the lessons that come with life’s challenges. My thirty-eighth year also became a time of healing and growth I never envisioned.

Guided by mentors like Robert Jackman and Nicole Lepara, I uncovered many childhood traumas that had quietly shaped my life. These buried experiences, which I had long ignored amid distractions like substance abuse and gambling, finally surfaced. I realized that my fear of abandonment, rooted in my father's absence due to his trucking career, led me to sabotage numerous relationships by pushing others away before they could leave.

Letting go of blame and shame became essential. Carrying the weight of resentment and wishing things were different only hindered my growth. No wonder my journey felt so prolonged while I dragged around a heavy backpack filled with pain.

Now, on my first day of thirty-nine, I feel lighter. I am no longer burdened by trivial matters. While financial challenges persist—high rent and skyrocketing food prices still weigh on me—I have come to terms with my situation. Bad days still arise when it feels like the universe is against me, but I no longer carry that weight as I once did.

Each day, I’m learning to release my burdens and trust that the universe will support me if I stumble. It may not seem apparent, but it always does, even when we are entangled in life's complexities.

Years ago, during a difficult experience with psychedelics, I expressed my struggles to a group of friends. While it may have sounded self-centered, the truth was that it was genuinely challenging to navigate my own existence. It's hard for everyone to simply be themselves, especially when resisting the need to let go. For far too long, I perceived my struggles as the universe conspiring against me, unaware that the power to change was always within my grasp.

It took me thirty-eight years to learn the importance of letting go and appreciating every experience—both good and bad. On my thirty-ninth birthday, I couldn't have asked for a better gift than this newfound wisdom.

Chapter 2: The Power of Acceptance