Chapter 1: The Art of Prioritization

In our quest for creativity, it's essential to understand that saying no to others can often mean saying yes to ourselves. The more we stretch ourselves thin with various commitments, the less we truly achieve.

Photo by Towfiqu Barbhuiya on Unsplash

Today, I’m choosing to take it slow, which gives me the perfect opportunity to discuss one of my all-time favorite films: Forgetting Sarah Marshall. This movie encapsulates a carefree philosophy that many of us find challenging to embody.

The film features a whimsical vampire puppet opera and emphasizes the importance of pursuing what truly matters to us, whether in love or creativity. Its core message revolves around releasing the decent but ultimately unfulfilling aspects of life—like a frustrating relationship or a mundane job—in favor of what we genuinely desire, such as a true love or a passion project.

Pursuing your true passions takes bravery. A particularly memorable scene features Paul Rudd teaching Jason Segel to surf. He advises, “The less you do, the more you do.” This seemingly nonsensical advice highlights a profound truth: to achieve genuine happiness, we must focus on what we truly love.

Segel’s character struggles to balance his past relationship with Sarah Marshall and his budding romance with someone new. Attempting to juggle both leads to dissatisfaction. Instead, he finds joy only when he dedicates himself to the woman he loves. Similarly, his long-neglected vampire puppet opera finally comes to life when he takes a leap of faith, stepping away from Sarah and his uninspiring job.

The film suggests that while our lives may be filled with decent options, our goal should be to identify and pursue what is truly essential. We are often surrounded by projects that we like but do not love—tasks that fulfill a client’s request or provide a sense of financial stability. In his book Essentialism, Greg McKeown explains how these distractions can overwhelm our schedules and lead to stress. They consume our time without delivering the satisfaction we seek.

His advice? Focus on less.

While this may seem simplistic, it offers clarity in an age filled with distractions. Choosing to say no to numerous decent options requires courage, as it compels us to commit to what is essential. It demands faith in the idea that prioritizing the right things will yield positive outcomes.

You might wonder if it’s better to chase multiple goals until you can eventually narrow your focus. In reality, pursuing too many paths can lead to minimal progress in all areas. At some point, every creative individual must make choices.

The results speak for themselves: John Grisham chose to devote more energy to writing than to his law firm, leading to the publication of A Time to Kill and a successful literary career. Steve Jobs transformed Apple by resisting the urge to launch numerous products annually, instead focusing on a select few that revolutionized the tech industry, including the iPod and iPhone.

If you're still skeptical about the benefits of doing less, consider these two questions from Essentialism: What do I genuinely want to pursue? What would it look like if I committed to that every day?

Feeling the excitement building in your chest? That’s because prioritizing your passion can lead to greater happiness and reduced stress. By saying no to countless decent distractions, you can carve out the time needed for what truly matters.

Am I perfect in this practice? Not at all. I still find myself caught in the trap of pursuing too many things, hoping that someday I’ll be able to focus on less.

Yet, a mantra that resonates with me, especially when contemplating a new endeavor, is Paul Rudd's quirky wisdom: “The less you do, the more you do.”

In other words, learn to say no to them so you can wholeheartedly say yes to yourself.

Chapter 2: Finding Balance

In this video titled "How to Say NO Say YES to Yourself by Saying NO to Others," you'll discover practical strategies for prioritizing your needs while maintaining healthy boundaries.

Additionally, check out "Say No To Say Yes: Dr. Caryn Aviv at TEDxCrestmoorParkWomen," which explores the empowering effects of saying no in various aspects of life.